On Lake Constance

On Lake Constance

Still burning from embarrassment after our public display of affection, Juliana and I board the train to Landau. The second time Juliana and I went out together; we went to Landau. Landau is a resort city on an island in Lake Constance on the German, Swiss, and Austrian border.   First, we must find a hotel. We find one that is out of the tourists’ mainstream, a comfortable inn with no surprises. I wish I could remember the name so that I could recommend it. 

 Lake Constance (German: Bodensee) is a lake on the Rhine River at the northern foot of the Alps. From Landau you can see Austria and Switzerland. Part of the adventure will be a boat trip around the lake. The boat is part of the hotel package. There are three other couples with us, all older than we are. I could not say that any more. We chose our tour boat; we could have taken one of the fishing boats and done some fishing. Fishing is not my favorite sport; I am very unlucky when it comes to fish. I had a rather traumatic experience when I was 15-years-old. My best friend had an uncle that was one of the premier anglers in northwest Arkansas. He was a regular guest on a television fishing show out of Joplin Missouri. He was going to take us fishing and teach us how to catch the big one. We went out together three times and we caught nothing. Later I asked my friend when we were going to go fishing again. My friend told me that his uncle considered me the biggest jinx he had ever met and did not want to go with me again. That traumatized me for life and I never enjoyed fishing since. If you get a chance to go to Lake Constance, I hear the fishing is great. I know this for sure—the scenery is beautiful.

If you every have a chance to go there and you take the boat tour, I just warn you that many of the beaches are clothing optional. No one seems to take the option. Our guide delighted in pointing them out to us and getting as close as possible. 

One of Landau attractions, other than the lake, is the casino. The casino is the second place Juliana introduced me to, and the first time I wore formal attire. We decide that for old time’s sake, we ought to go to the casino again. This means renting formal clothes for me and buying Juliana a new dress. She decides on red and asks my opinion and I tell her she looked better in the white. I seldom disagree, but the white just looked better on her. She agrees with me. I cannot do justice in describing this dress. You would have to see it to appreciate it. It had a black panther on it that went from the neckline and curved around the dress. One of its paws formed the strap while the other leg and paw wrapped around one side. It is too complex for me to describe it to you. It was rather attractive and I am sure expensive.  Having no car, we have the privilege of arriving at the casino in a horse-drawn carriage. Another perk, compliments of the hotel. In Europe, the casino scene is not about gambling as it is about fashion. The men are bland in their black tuxedos but the women are strutting peacocks. Ironically, it is just the opposite of the aviary world. In the rainbow of the fashion displays, Juliana stands out in her plain black and white dress. Of course, the panther helps. Juliana is a social gambler. She does not go expecting or hoping to win big. She enjoys the lights and the crowds. Her limit is 2000 DM about $500 at that time. By limit, she means she will quit as soon as she has lost $500 and she will quit when she has won $500. She plays rather conservatively at the roulette table and the craps table. She is always asking me to convert odds into probabilities. That is something I taught her, it makes the changes a little easier to understand. Odds are the way the casino gives the chance to win and they can hide the hedge they have on your bet. Probabilities always add up to one. Odds have no such relationship. As usual, Juliana walks away with an extra $500. European casinos differ significantly from American casinos. In an American casino, the roulette wheel contains a green 0 and a green 00. There is only the green 0 in Europe. The chance of any one number coming up is 1/38 on an American wheel while they are 1/37 on the European wheel. Slot machines in America casinos pay off at a scheduled interval. The European slots are true random generators. I have never been in an American casino where the dress was not casual; I have never been in a European casino where the dress was not formal.

The first time we were here, Juliana got mad at me. I was uneasy in this environment. While she was playing roulette, several rather attractive young men would approach her, kiss her on the cheek and talk for a while. This was only the second time I had gone out with her and I had several things to lean. I finally decided that I did not belong in this place and told her so. She got up and practically dragged me out to the balcony.  She got in my face, (remember I am almost six inches taller than she is), and explained the situation. She informed me that she was with me for several reasons: 1). You are witty and make me laugh a lot. 2). You are intelligent and you explain things to me. 3). You were there when I needed someone. 4). Those attractive men are people I know because I come here often. They are men that work on the fishing boats. They are here to pick up some old woman that will pay money just to have some handsome young man pay attention to them. I do not have to pay to get attention and they know that. They are jealous of you, and every one asked about you. Ouch!  After her scolding, she said, “Now we will go back and I advise you the flirt with the waitresses until we are ready to go, but remember who you came with.”  I felt rather sheepish after her remarks, but we went back in with her on my arm. I went to the bar, and had a Jagermeister on the rocks. I sat back and asked myself “What is going on?” Here I am, in the Army, I should be having a terrible time, but I am having the time of my life. 

©2012 Michael L. Wright